Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Randomize
