this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
