he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
