Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
