dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
