no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
