So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
