I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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