I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
