Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
