remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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