you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
