you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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