what day is it and did you see me today?
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
