I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
why does every cop we meet know your name?
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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