You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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