Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
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