is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
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