There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Randomize
