Got a toothbrush?
I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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