Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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