woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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