Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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