I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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