i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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