i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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