I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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