why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
