OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
