He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
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