I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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