Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Randomize
