it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
