We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Randomize
