That's when you crack a 10am beer
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Randomize
