we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
