Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Randomize
