All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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