hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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