I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
