She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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