Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
She bit a glass in half.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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