Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize