idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
