haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
