Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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