Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Randomize
