some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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