Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
