i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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