Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize