You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
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