I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
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