It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
