we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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