Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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