He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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