I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Randomize
