return my video game
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
