she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
