So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
