Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(510): View more from California

watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up

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(512): View more from Texas

after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.

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(740): View more from Ohio

Hi, my name's audrey!

(614): View more from Ohio

Max?

(740): View more from Ohio

Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages

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(313): View more from Michigan

I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.

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(716): View more from New York

So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef

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(765): View more from Indiana

If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.

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(206): View more from Washington

Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.

(1-724): View more from Pennsylvania

hasn't he seen you naked?

(724): View more from Pennsylvania

well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.

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