I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize
