i just had sex bonerless
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
