I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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