put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
