We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
