I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
